48 Hours!

Kyle and I are currently in the midst of our 48-hour film project. For those of you that don't know, a 48-hour film project gives a team of people exactly two days to conceptualize, shoot, and edit a short film into a cute little package for the world to see. I can't say that much about what our project is right this minute, but everyone should know that it stars Kyle and I in quite a ridiculous situation. Those of you who know us well probably won't be that surprised by what the final project is, though. Personally, I feel amused but a little dirty, especially about the last scene we filmed, just about an hour ago.

We'll post the results of our endeavor on this blog as soon as they get uploaded to YouTube. Stay tuned!

Glasses. I mean, they're hott.

Glasses. Many Americans need them for practical reasons, but, I mean, that's no fun. If you wear glasses you have to WEAR them. It is only when people truly wear glasses, that Matt and I recognize that person's hotness. We mean HOTTTNESS. Still don't see the hotness in glasses wearing? Check out these lovely individuals (which you will never hear us calling Four Eyes):

The Reigning Queen of Glasses: Dr. Addison Montgomery (formerly Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd)

Mm. Mm. Mm. I love me some Addison. I mean, look at how those glasses fit on the bridge of her nose. It's orgasmic.

OH LOOK AT THAT FUCKING HOT SMIRK WITH THOSE GLASSES. PURE BEAUTY.

Nobody can top Kate Walsh's glasses wearing ability; however, there a few people who come close.

Angela Lansbury looking mighty fine in Nanny McPhee. If glasses are attached to a stick, automatic hotness increased two-fold.

Sawyer from Lost doesn't need glasses to look hot, but still. +10 hot points for having bad eyes. Just fuck Jack already, Sawyer. Get it over with. You can cut the sexual tension with one of Locke's very sharp knives.

Bill Haverchuck from Freaks and Geeks dressed up like the Bionic Woman. I mean, enough said.

Another Bill one. Mmmmmmmmm.

Estelle Getty (Sophia from Golden Girls). Do I even have to explain this one?

The number of hot glasses pics is too large to count. Be warned: this is only a small sample of the hotness.

Xena DVDs, The Rift, Evening Strolls, Diners

All of these women are poised to attack the U.S. Postal Service if my DVDs don't arrive today.

A terrible halt in Kyle and I's TV-watching habits has occurred this week, due to the failure of the Xena DVDs I ordered from half.com to arrive in any timely fashion. I've been complaining about it for quite awhile now, as you all already know. But seriously, folks, this is a matter of utmost importance. I need my Xena! I need my musical eppie! I need my Rift!

Speaking of The Rift, it has grown to phenomenal proportions with Kyle and I. It's kind of like the Cold War. We both have nuclear missiles aimed at each other, but each of us is biding his time, waiting for the opponent to make one false move so that he can be obliterated. It's dangerous stuff, but no real friendship is ever complete without a Rift (capital R). It's kind of like a rite of passage. We'll either get through it alive and become BFFs, or we'll simply destroy each other in epic battle. Let's wait and see.

A few nights ago Kyle and I took a walk for no reason. I felt like an old married couple. We talked about how the house I'll one day purchase will feature a rocking implement for every piece of furniture. I'm going to have rocking chairs, rocking couches, rocking beds, rocking toilets, rocking dinner tables, porch swings everywhere... It's going to be nuts. Also, plans were made to go to the creepy downtown diner at some point before the end of the semester. I hope they let me smoke in there. That way I can be just like Lydia Trisha Beauregard. And what could be better than that?

I have to go pick up Kyle from work now. What a needy little betch. I leave you all with one of the pictures I found today when I Googled "Xena and Gabrielle":

Because we love horrible fashion...

Yes, the Rift is as strong as ever. It grows with every passing day. Sometimes I catch myself narrowing my eyes at Matt and plotting his demise.

However, like any good television series needs a good non-major story arc episode every now and again, this blog needs an episodic blog. What does that mean? IT MEANS FASHION, GURLS!! :: throws left arm into air, puts right hand on hip, mass amounts of glitter falls from the sky, Witch Doctor remix plays::

DO WEAR MOM JEANS

Come on now. Who doesn't love this fashion staple? Moms and non-Moms alike can wear this denim and have fun doing it! Whether you are out on the town with your hubbie at the newly opened Ponderosa down the street or just lounging around with your kids watching that new VHS tape you rented, mom jeans are perfect for any occasion! Dress them up with a bulky, tweed jacket with a floral printed, shoulder padded blouse or go with the casual printed vest over a pale yellow or pink long tee. You can never go wrong with the mom jean! Check out this video for some other great mom jean fashions!

DO WEAR CONFEDERATE FLAG T-SHIRT

Nothing says "I'm still pissed off about that damn war and I want everybody to know it" more than a vintage Confederate flag tee! Want to show everybody you're a Rebel and you mean it? Feel that your racism isn't racist enough? Or do you just feel that the South really won the War of Northern Aggression? If you answer yes to any or all of these questions, this shirt is for you! Accessorize with your favorite faded jean short, a pack of cheap ciggies, and mullet! This outfit will have all the girls (white girls, that is) jumping all over you!

DO MAKE YOUR KIDS WEAR GAUDY EASTER CLOTHES

Don't forget! The Easter holiday is almost upon us! That means big hats, spring colors, and little white gloves! You don't want your kid to look like a hoodlum on Easter, do you? No, of course you don't! That's why you have to make your child look as best as possible. Remember: the more lace, the better. The more pink, the better. The bigger the hat, the better. You have free reign with Easter outfits! Just make sure you stick to the lovely color palette of pale pinks, yellows, and blues. Oh, and don't forget white!!! Such a lovely color. Also, have fun with the outfits! Set aside an arts and crafts day in which you and your daughter can decorate a plain hat into a masterpiece! Buy large plastic flower and maybe even small, stuffed bunnies and chicks! It's fun and also a good bonding opportunity! Your little Flower will love flowers all over her hat! CAUTION: Don't let the kiddies play with the glue gun. Do that part yourself. Also, if the hat turns out bad (which usually happens with kids' art projects) just throw it out. Tell your child that the Easter bunny took it!!!

Oh, one last thing! Don't forget the white, lace gloves!! They sell out fast! You don't want your daughter to be the only girl at church without white gloves!!! (What a fashion faux pas!).

That's it for now! Remember to buy those white pant suits!

Love Always,

Sunset Blush

Mark 3:25

Things are getting ridiculous as of late. I feel like I've been stripped of my officer's rank and thrown into the ocean, forced to attach my seal of approval to blog posts about the endless joy of infants. Suffice it to say, I don't get any psychotic amount of joy out of staring at babies, and it shames me that my name has been inadvertantly attached to such tomfoolery.

I think that Kyle may be plotting against me. Sometimes I catch him staring at me out of the corner of his eye when we're watching Angel, a malevolent grin just barely visible on his shadowed face. I know he's up to something.

It's only going to be a matter of time before he makes his move against me. But no, I will not play his game, and I will not relinquish sovereign power of this blog and this friendship. It's true, more binds us together than separates us, but great gulfs exist in the cracks. For example, I don't like the new season of Veronica Mars. And Kyle doesn't even like Final Fantasy, and he's managed to beat me at Heroes of Might and Magic. And so the rift deepens.

As I type this entry, I narrow my eyes out the window, across the railroad tracks, to the apartment complex that this friend of mine calls his home. No, not a friend, a usurper of my rights and human dignities! It's time to set my plan into motion. I have to make my move first. Act, not react. If it comes down to a deadly, epic battle to the finish, that's what it'll have to be. I can't afford to engage in any prolonged power struggles now. Not when I'm so close to realizing my plan of world domination. I make my finishing move tonight.

The (Baby) Name Game

Hi babyyy. I wuv you. I wuv you. Yes I does. Oh, yes I does. I goin get chu. Yes I is. Oh, yes I is. A ju. A ju-ju.

...

That is what happens when I think about lil babies. I could be in the worst mood for whatever reason, but a picture of a cute baby will make me jolly and forget about my bad mood. They's jus so cute, yes they is.

So why am I talking about babies? I don't know.

All this baby talk got me thinking about one of the best things EVER to discuss: BABY NAMES!!

Why do I love BABY NAMES!!? Well because they are fun.

Literally, one can name a baby ANYTHING. I think that is why it's so fun. ANYTHING. BABY NAMES!!: the fun is endless!

It's really fun when you think about the meanings.

For example:

If you wanted to name your little girl after the famed Sesame Street character, Big Bird, you could name her Tai Jai. Not only is it funny that you named your child after big bird, but you also have a rhyming first and middle name. Let's try another one.

Perhaps your child is of Spanish and Vietnamese decent? Maybe you like to capture precious memories with digital video? Or maybe you like colored animals? Try naming your child Cam Cordero which means Orange Lamb.

Did your ancestors witness the Norman Invasion of 1066 or maybe just heard about it through tales of lore like in The Mabinogi? Did they speak the developing language of Old English? Does your child like breast milk or is he/she just a casual boob lover?? Try "Bronwyn Caron" meaning "white breast love." Everyone will love it!

With the recent trend of naming your child strange names like "Pilot Inspector" or "Apple" or maybe "Dusty Bookshelf," I think it is important that we all learn how to make these funny baby names. You never know when one of us is going to get knocked up or when a crying baby may appear in basket on our porches or floating along in the flooded fields of the Black Swamp.

With that stated, I feel it is my duty to make sure everyone reading this blog has a good grasp on how to construct these baby names. Please, try making these baby names yourself. Leave some good names in the comments section of the blog. It will be good practice.

Try www.babynamesworld.com . It's so popular right now.

It's true. 2007 is all about funny BABY NAMES!!

Bike Stories!

It seems that everybody who's anybody has a favorite bike story. These stories mostly involve crashing. Last night, Meg told us her story about being hit by a side mirror of a speeding truck while on her bike. Same thing happened to Marie...There have been numerous times I've heard about Emily's big spill when she was young. In fact, I've actually seen where the infamous event took place! So why the obsession? Why do American college students still remember these traumatic biking accidents? I don't think this question can really be answered. I know I've had plenty of accidents as a child not involving bikes. Zeus knows how many roller blade spills I've had or even bad accidents with my moon shoes, but I can't seem to remember the details. Yet my big bike spill is ingrained in my memory forever. Strange. I know. Here is a brief recount of my bike spill:

Don't worry. This is just a reenactment of a deadly bicycle accident.

I know it was after 1999 (I know, not that long ago) because I was wearing my favorite shirt: "Class of 1999, Sunnydale High School" with small pictures of Buffy, Xander, Willow, Cordelia, and Oz. I treasured this shirt. I treasured it so much that I would take if off if I spilled the slightest thing on it for fear of stains...you know, even though it was black. Well anyway. I was riding my bike on my street. Nothing out of the norm. My street was always filled with people my age hanging out. So I was riding my bike with my friend Joey one day. The Hammond family car passed by us. Now, the Hammond family was probably the strangest family ever. Well, no, actually that would be Megan's family who lived a few houses down from the Hammonds, but whatever. They were weird and the kids were annoying and smelly. Still on my bike, I watched as the Hammond vehicle passed me. For some reason, I found it necessary to watch the car pull into their driveway. You know, after they had already gone behind me. This was a bad mistake. My eyes were not on the road. Consequently, I crash against a mailbox. The crash wasn't the bad part. The bad part was how I slid against the metal hook protruding from the box. My side was cut from my back to my stomach. I bled. Hard.

The accident wasn't the really bad part. The bad part was that the mailbox also cut my shirt from the front to back. MY FAVORITE SHIRT. I was traumatized. Hence, why I can still vividly remember this moment.

Fucking Hammond family.

That's my story. I'm sure all of you readers have a story to share with us. Please, comment and share! These events interest me!

Oh, also, I CAN'T FIND A PICTURE OF THE T-SHIRT! Noooo!! It's lost forever!! It only exists in my memory!!!

EDIT: I FOUND A PICTURE. That took way too much time, but it was worth it. Too bad it is tiny, but you get the idea:

The best thing ever? Quite possibly.

Behold, the official video for Ben Kweller's "Penny On The Train Track" (no, really).



This video is the marriage of two things we love dearly -- old women and Ben Kweller. Also, this woman's name is Marylin "Bubbie" Kweller, Ben's grandmother. I laughed so hard I cried. So amazing.

To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern (read - Dustin, Theresa) :

It has come to my attention that the two of you have links to our blog on your respective blogs. This is a practice that I will always encourage, as the world needs to be known of our amazingness. Kudos on that.

However, both of you have Kyle's name listed before mine in the name of the link itself. This is unacceptable. It is an undisputed fact that I am the Xena of the duo, and he is the Gabrielle. I mean, for one, he has blonde hair. Secondly, he is a bard and I am a warrior. And most importantly, he's younger than me, and Gabrielle is younger than Xena. Clearly I am the Xena, and therefore the alpha male, and therefore my name should come first.

I'd appreciate it if you could all change your blog links immediately. This is of the UTMOST importance. We can't have people assuming anything that shouldn't be assumed.

Regards,

- Matt

Sunset Blush Presents...

What would a blog be without a fashion column? Well honey, I'm here to give you just that. Of course, this isn't just an ordinary fashion column -- this is a HOTT FASHION BLOG. What's a hott fashion blog? Basically, it's a blog dealing with the hottest fashion trends and celeb styles. So guuuuurls, strap on those arm warmers and quilted skirts and let Sunset Blush take you on a fashion journey.

DO WEAR A WHITE PANT SUIT

The pant suit. A staple in any woman's closet. Why don't more women wear these hott articles of clothing? Could it be the horrible stigma attached to these ensembles? Probably. But honey childs, you gotta wear these. Don't worry, nobody will think you're a lesbian... Just don't wear them with tennis shoes. Then you really do like vag.

Unsure about which shoes to wear? Just go barefoot. Check out Melissa Etheridge with her wife Tammy Lynn below. That's a definite fashion DO. HEY GURL. Unsure about the color you should choose? Don't be. Always go with white. White white white. White pant suits are sophisticated and HOTT. Trust me. I know. Or you can go with gray, but I recommend always white.

Check out Ellen DeGeneres in her white pant suit with tennis shoes. It takes a real woman to pull that off.

Rosie's wife Kelly only pulls off the gray pant suit because it has the collar popped out. Tres chic!


Melissa looks the best in her all-white pant suit with bare feet. Every woman should go with this look! I mean, honeys, check out the extra long sleeve on that suit. That's so in right now!

DO WEAR OVERPOWERING PRINTS

What is better than expressing your love for prints? Nothing, actually. Well, except white pant suits. Here's a tip, ladies: Don't be afraid of prints. If you love flowers -- wear flowers!! If you love horses -- wear horses!! Nothing expresses one's personality more than prints! 2007 is all about prints, prints, prints. Remember: Nothing says fashion like costume jewelry, so dress up those prints with costume jewelry! Check out these fine ladies expressing their individual personalities!

Dolly Parton indicates that she really is a jungle woman! Her leopard print shows that she has had much experience in the jungle where she grew up! No wonder she likes prints so much!

Jessica Tandy of the hott film Driving Miss Daisy sports a flower printed jacket. Obviously, Miss Tandy must love gardening! The only thing to make Jessica's ensemble better would be a nice, large, gaudy necklace.

Of course, Miss Tori Spelling is channeling the Patchwork Girl in her multi-colored day dress. Perhaps this dress is an expression of her patchy childhood, or maybe Tori Spelling actually likes quilting! Who knows? But she looks like a true fashionesta!!

That's my column for today, readers. I hope you enjoyed it. Of course, I'll be back soon with more fashion do's and don'ts. Just remember... Fashion is an expression of your womanhood! So gurrrrls, you better work!

Love always,

Sunset Blush

[Note: Originally written by Kyle. Posted by Matt due to X-Treme Formatting Issues.]

Spring Break 3

To answer a few questions left in a previous comment by one Ms. Emily Berens... No, I am not aware of a large population of Xena/Buffy/ABBA enthusiasts in the world, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was one. The three seem to go together well in my mind, at least. Also, the homosexual tones between Xena and Gabrielle are not always as extreme as the ones depicted in the video on a previous post, but they increase tremendously as the series progresses and the show's writers learn to cater to the hopeless Xena/Gabrielle shippers.

...Maybe I'll write about what a shipper is in a future post.

Kyle left to go back to his hometown of Amherst, OH today. That means that I no longer have anyone to go to the graveyard with at two o' clock in the morning. However, I will try to stand strong in his absence. He will be back on Saturday, and perhaps we can make a visit to our old friend Chauncey's grave then.

Until then, I'm going to keep my head up by thinking about the hottest new television show this fall:

Spring Break 2

So here we are. Spring Break 2007. Instead of swimming in the ocean or getting drunk on the beaches of Cancun, Matt and I are stuck in Bowling Green, Ohio. It's okay though. It's pretty fun. What have we done so far? Not much. And that's the way we like it. Here is a list:

• Finished Season 2 of Xena: Warrior Princess. Fantasized about Cupid.
• Watched a lot of Angel Season 2. Fantasized about Darla.
• Had an adventure in Perrysburg and Toledo. We went to Levis Commons and Best Buy.
• Ate with the Horn parents and heard a lot of funny stories.
• Watched a lot of YouTube videos.
• Scanned Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King for its sad parts.
• Did many Xena impressions.
• Mourned Chauncey Powell.
• Did hand motions to many songs, including Annie Lennox's "Into the West."
• And much more!

Who knows what is in store for the rest of the week??! Probably not too much since I am going home in a day or so. However, for now I will leave you with these amazing pictures.

Matt Horn is a member of the Pink Ladies.

Matt does his signature "Lydia blow"

Spring Break 1

It's Spring Break in sunny Bowling Green, and Kyle and I are quite possibly the only people left in town. "The streets are bare and everywhere the trees are full of strangers..." Wait, that's not right. Oh well, nobody probably got the Les Miserables reference anyway.

I figured I'd start out the Spring Break 2K7 spirit on this blog by offering up a brief summary of what Kyle and I accomplished over Winter Break 2K6/2K7. Call it what you will. I call it fun.

One late December evening, I looked out the window and realized that the world had been enveloped by a thick shroud of Silent Hill-esque fog. Being the inquisitive young men that we are, Kyle and I decided to wander out into the night to experiment with how digital cameras react to the presence of fog. (Or, I wanted an excuse to act stupid in the middle of nowhere.) Observe the results:



Clearly this whole "taking pictures in the fog at night" thing was the smartest idea anyone's come up with to date. I find the bottom picture disturbing. You can see Kyle looking like he's ready to kill something, if you squint your eyes and use your imagination.

As Winter Break dragged along, Kyle and I became desperate for new and exciting activities. Playing with Barbie dolls seemed like a good idea at the time:

In hindsight, I suppose I should have figured that we would end up dismembering at least one of the dolls and posing them both in strange positions around the incredibly ugly "gay Shakespeare" statuette I got for Christmas from my grandfather. And no, don't ask me why I had Barbie dolls lying around my apartment. I don't have an explanation for you.

Later on, Kyle exercised his arts-and-crafts know-how by connecting the naked, dismembered torsos of the two Barbies together with a severed arm, tying their hair together into a multicolored bun, inverting their plastic breasts, and calling them Siamese twins with an unfortunate pectoral birth defect. Additionally, their dresses made nice cozees for the Zima we imbibed a few weeks later while scrapbooking. Unfortunately, we didn't take any photos of those excellent events for posterity's sake.

But I did manage to snap one of Kyle looking gorgeous after affixing all of the Barbie hair clips to his own shaggy mane:

Other events of Winter Break included walking the trails near the Wood County Historical Society while pretending to be Amazons, conjuring countless numbers of genuinely terrifying inside jokes, and watching immense quantities of Angel.

I'm sure that Spring Break 2K7 will hold some amusing activities, all of which will be described here in great length, for anyone wondering what kinds of sinister, malevolent things we occupy ourselves with when nobody else is around.

The Epistemology Of The Crossover

The crossover. Probably the best thing EVER.

What is a crossover? A crossover is anything dealing with two or more things. Usually these "things" are elements of entertainment or popular culture. A common example of a typical crossover would be the Buffy/Angel crossover or Xena/Hercules crossover. These involve story lines and/or characters going from one show to the next. For example, the Season Four episode of Buffy, "Pangs," is a crossover with the Angel Season One episode, " I Will Remember You." "Pangs" features Angel going to Sunnydale to help Buffy, and "I Will Remember You" deals with Buffy going after Angel in L.A. There you have it. A typical crossover.

However, some crossovers, which I will call "Hott Crossovers" feature a crossing over of characters, plots, and situations that do not go with the universe in which they are being crossed. These Hott Crossovers manifest themselves in fanfiction, fanvids, and homosexual college males obsessed with multiple television shows, films, and bands. Examples? A Buffy/Xena Crossover fanfic, a Grey's Anatomy/Lost crossover, or even an ABBA/Veronica Mars crossover.

Now that you know about these crossovers, I would like to give you some concrete examples to aid you in understanding the hottness of them:

Here is a Buffy/ABBA crossover fanvid. Hott.



Here is a Xena/ABBA crossover fanvid.



Okay, here is another HOTT crossover: Grey's Anatomy/Lost . Meredith x Jack = OTP.



Hmmmmm. I found another gem. Veronica Mars/ Harry Potter Crossover!!!! Oh, even better, the song is Angel of Mine.



Hahahah. A Lost/Firefly one.



And finally, an extra hott Grease/ High School Musical Crossover



We love crossovers. We also love fanvids. Check out http://www2.blogger.com/www.fanfiction.net for crossover fanfics!

A Brief Explanation

Can we talk for a minute about life?

Life is bland, life is boring, but life is also fun. Life is whatever we want to make it. We can sit around watching television shows and talking online all day long (read: me), study incessantly in hopes of getting a good GPA, or just get drunk and follow the other Matt Horn around Uptown every night. Regardless, life is pretty much same-old, same-old most days. Not that that's a bad thing -- I don't think I would enjoy my life as much of there were constant dramatic tragedies taking place.

Anyway, this leads me to my point, which is that in lieu of actually having dramatic tragedies in life, I prefer to live on vicariously through others' trauma. More specifically, television shows. Yes, I am still very much in touch with reality (at least, I think so), but for some reason I enjoy musing about the possibility of an alternate reality where all my favorite TV show characters are real and have a continuing presence in my life. I know what you're thinking. Shut up. Everybody daydreams. Maybe not about the possibility of hooking up with Sandra Oh on a gurney at Seattle Grace, but everyone daydreams.

I was going to write a lengthy post about my idea of the perfect day (featuring all my favorite people, real, made-up, and from TV), but I decided that I should just offer a brief explanation of my sometimes-borderline-psychotic behavior instead. I feel I owe that much to my friends, who are constantly forced to put up with Kyle and I creaming our pants about Callisto, imitating Bailey's orders to the interns, discussing the merits of "Dr. Jack Shepard x Dr. Derek Shepard OTP," and throwing imaginary chakrams around the dance floor at parties.

Now that I've paused for a brief but important grounding in reality, you can all rest assured that Kyle and I aren't nearly as insane as you might think from listening to us.

Okay, so we are, but we're harmless. I think.