Glasses. I mean, they're hott.

Glasses. Many Americans need them for practical reasons, but, I mean, that's no fun. If you wear glasses you have to WEAR them. It is only when people truly wear glasses, that Matt and I recognize that person's hotness. We mean HOTTTNESS. Still don't see the hotness in glasses wearing? Check out these lovely individuals (which you will never hear us calling Four Eyes):

The Reigning Queen of Glasses: Dr. Addison Montgomery (formerly Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd)

Mm. Mm. Mm. I love me some Addison. I mean, look at how those glasses fit on the bridge of her nose. It's orgasmic.

OH LOOK AT THAT FUCKING HOT SMIRK WITH THOSE GLASSES. PURE BEAUTY.

Nobody can top Kate Walsh's glasses wearing ability; however, there a few people who come close.

Angela Lansbury looking mighty fine in Nanny McPhee. If glasses are attached to a stick, automatic hotness increased two-fold.

Sawyer from Lost doesn't need glasses to look hot, but still. +10 hot points for having bad eyes. Just fuck Jack already, Sawyer. Get it over with. You can cut the sexual tension with one of Locke's very sharp knives.

Bill Haverchuck from Freaks and Geeks dressed up like the Bionic Woman. I mean, enough said.

Another Bill one. Mmmmmmmmm.

Estelle Getty (Sophia from Golden Girls). Do I even have to explain this one?

The number of hot glasses pics is too large to count. Be warned: this is only a small sample of the hotness.

Xena DVDs, The Rift, Evening Strolls, Diners

All of these women are poised to attack the U.S. Postal Service if my DVDs don't arrive today.

A terrible halt in Kyle and I's TV-watching habits has occurred this week, due to the failure of the Xena DVDs I ordered from half.com to arrive in any timely fashion. I've been complaining about it for quite awhile now, as you all already know. But seriously, folks, this is a matter of utmost importance. I need my Xena! I need my musical eppie! I need my Rift!

Speaking of The Rift, it has grown to phenomenal proportions with Kyle and I. It's kind of like the Cold War. We both have nuclear missiles aimed at each other, but each of us is biding his time, waiting for the opponent to make one false move so that he can be obliterated. It's dangerous stuff, but no real friendship is ever complete without a Rift (capital R). It's kind of like a rite of passage. We'll either get through it alive and become BFFs, or we'll simply destroy each other in epic battle. Let's wait and see.

A few nights ago Kyle and I took a walk for no reason. I felt like an old married couple. We talked about how the house I'll one day purchase will feature a rocking implement for every piece of furniture. I'm going to have rocking chairs, rocking couches, rocking beds, rocking toilets, rocking dinner tables, porch swings everywhere... It's going to be nuts. Also, plans were made to go to the creepy downtown diner at some point before the end of the semester. I hope they let me smoke in there. That way I can be just like Lydia Trisha Beauregard. And what could be better than that?

I have to go pick up Kyle from work now. What a needy little betch. I leave you all with one of the pictures I found today when I Googled "Xena and Gabrielle":

Because we love horrible fashion...

Yes, the Rift is as strong as ever. It grows with every passing day. Sometimes I catch myself narrowing my eyes at Matt and plotting his demise.

However, like any good television series needs a good non-major story arc episode every now and again, this blog needs an episodic blog. What does that mean? IT MEANS FASHION, GURLS!! :: throws left arm into air, puts right hand on hip, mass amounts of glitter falls from the sky, Witch Doctor remix plays::

DO WEAR MOM JEANS

Come on now. Who doesn't love this fashion staple? Moms and non-Moms alike can wear this denim and have fun doing it! Whether you are out on the town with your hubbie at the newly opened Ponderosa down the street or just lounging around with your kids watching that new VHS tape you rented, mom jeans are perfect for any occasion! Dress them up with a bulky, tweed jacket with a floral printed, shoulder padded blouse or go with the casual printed vest over a pale yellow or pink long tee. You can never go wrong with the mom jean! Check out this video for some other great mom jean fashions!

DO WEAR CONFEDERATE FLAG T-SHIRT

Nothing says "I'm still pissed off about that damn war and I want everybody to know it" more than a vintage Confederate flag tee! Want to show everybody you're a Rebel and you mean it? Feel that your racism isn't racist enough? Or do you just feel that the South really won the War of Northern Aggression? If you answer yes to any or all of these questions, this shirt is for you! Accessorize with your favorite faded jean short, a pack of cheap ciggies, and mullet! This outfit will have all the girls (white girls, that is) jumping all over you!

DO MAKE YOUR KIDS WEAR GAUDY EASTER CLOTHES

Don't forget! The Easter holiday is almost upon us! That means big hats, spring colors, and little white gloves! You don't want your kid to look like a hoodlum on Easter, do you? No, of course you don't! That's why you have to make your child look as best as possible. Remember: the more lace, the better. The more pink, the better. The bigger the hat, the better. You have free reign with Easter outfits! Just make sure you stick to the lovely color palette of pale pinks, yellows, and blues. Oh, and don't forget white!!! Such a lovely color. Also, have fun with the outfits! Set aside an arts and crafts day in which you and your daughter can decorate a plain hat into a masterpiece! Buy large plastic flower and maybe even small, stuffed bunnies and chicks! It's fun and also a good bonding opportunity! Your little Flower will love flowers all over her hat! CAUTION: Don't let the kiddies play with the glue gun. Do that part yourself. Also, if the hat turns out bad (which usually happens with kids' art projects) just throw it out. Tell your child that the Easter bunny took it!!!

Oh, one last thing! Don't forget the white, lace gloves!! They sell out fast! You don't want your daughter to be the only girl at church without white gloves!!! (What a fashion faux pas!).

That's it for now! Remember to buy those white pant suits!

Love Always,

Sunset Blush

Mark 3:25

Things are getting ridiculous as of late. I feel like I've been stripped of my officer's rank and thrown into the ocean, forced to attach my seal of approval to blog posts about the endless joy of infants. Suffice it to say, I don't get any psychotic amount of joy out of staring at babies, and it shames me that my name has been inadvertantly attached to such tomfoolery.

I think that Kyle may be plotting against me. Sometimes I catch him staring at me out of the corner of his eye when we're watching Angel, a malevolent grin just barely visible on his shadowed face. I know he's up to something.

It's only going to be a matter of time before he makes his move against me. But no, I will not play his game, and I will not relinquish sovereign power of this blog and this friendship. It's true, more binds us together than separates us, but great gulfs exist in the cracks. For example, I don't like the new season of Veronica Mars. And Kyle doesn't even like Final Fantasy, and he's managed to beat me at Heroes of Might and Magic. And so the rift deepens.

As I type this entry, I narrow my eyes out the window, across the railroad tracks, to the apartment complex that this friend of mine calls his home. No, not a friend, a usurper of my rights and human dignities! It's time to set my plan into motion. I have to make my move first. Act, not react. If it comes down to a deadly, epic battle to the finish, that's what it'll have to be. I can't afford to engage in any prolonged power struggles now. Not when I'm so close to realizing my plan of world domination. I make my finishing move tonight.

The (Baby) Name Game

Hi babyyy. I wuv you. I wuv you. Yes I does. Oh, yes I does. I goin get chu. Yes I is. Oh, yes I is. A ju. A ju-ju.

...

That is what happens when I think about lil babies. I could be in the worst mood for whatever reason, but a picture of a cute baby will make me jolly and forget about my bad mood. They's jus so cute, yes they is.

So why am I talking about babies? I don't know.

All this baby talk got me thinking about one of the best things EVER to discuss: BABY NAMES!!

Why do I love BABY NAMES!!? Well because they are fun.

Literally, one can name a baby ANYTHING. I think that is why it's so fun. ANYTHING. BABY NAMES!!: the fun is endless!

It's really fun when you think about the meanings.

For example:

If you wanted to name your little girl after the famed Sesame Street character, Big Bird, you could name her Tai Jai. Not only is it funny that you named your child after big bird, but you also have a rhyming first and middle name. Let's try another one.

Perhaps your child is of Spanish and Vietnamese decent? Maybe you like to capture precious memories with digital video? Or maybe you like colored animals? Try naming your child Cam Cordero which means Orange Lamb.

Did your ancestors witness the Norman Invasion of 1066 or maybe just heard about it through tales of lore like in The Mabinogi? Did they speak the developing language of Old English? Does your child like breast milk or is he/she just a casual boob lover?? Try "Bronwyn Caron" meaning "white breast love." Everyone will love it!

With the recent trend of naming your child strange names like "Pilot Inspector" or "Apple" or maybe "Dusty Bookshelf," I think it is important that we all learn how to make these funny baby names. You never know when one of us is going to get knocked up or when a crying baby may appear in basket on our porches or floating along in the flooded fields of the Black Swamp.

With that stated, I feel it is my duty to make sure everyone reading this blog has a good grasp on how to construct these baby names. Please, try making these baby names yourself. Leave some good names in the comments section of the blog. It will be good practice.

Try www.babynamesworld.com . It's so popular right now.

It's true. 2007 is all about funny BABY NAMES!!

Bike Stories!

It seems that everybody who's anybody has a favorite bike story. These stories mostly involve crashing. Last night, Meg told us her story about being hit by a side mirror of a speeding truck while on her bike. Same thing happened to Marie...There have been numerous times I've heard about Emily's big spill when she was young. In fact, I've actually seen where the infamous event took place! So why the obsession? Why do American college students still remember these traumatic biking accidents? I don't think this question can really be answered. I know I've had plenty of accidents as a child not involving bikes. Zeus knows how many roller blade spills I've had or even bad accidents with my moon shoes, but I can't seem to remember the details. Yet my big bike spill is ingrained in my memory forever. Strange. I know. Here is a brief recount of my bike spill:

Don't worry. This is just a reenactment of a deadly bicycle accident.

I know it was after 1999 (I know, not that long ago) because I was wearing my favorite shirt: "Class of 1999, Sunnydale High School" with small pictures of Buffy, Xander, Willow, Cordelia, and Oz. I treasured this shirt. I treasured it so much that I would take if off if I spilled the slightest thing on it for fear of stains...you know, even though it was black. Well anyway. I was riding my bike on my street. Nothing out of the norm. My street was always filled with people my age hanging out. So I was riding my bike with my friend Joey one day. The Hammond family car passed by us. Now, the Hammond family was probably the strangest family ever. Well, no, actually that would be Megan's family who lived a few houses down from the Hammonds, but whatever. They were weird and the kids were annoying and smelly. Still on my bike, I watched as the Hammond vehicle passed me. For some reason, I found it necessary to watch the car pull into their driveway. You know, after they had already gone behind me. This was a bad mistake. My eyes were not on the road. Consequently, I crash against a mailbox. The crash wasn't the bad part. The bad part was how I slid against the metal hook protruding from the box. My side was cut from my back to my stomach. I bled. Hard.

The accident wasn't the really bad part. The bad part was that the mailbox also cut my shirt from the front to back. MY FAVORITE SHIRT. I was traumatized. Hence, why I can still vividly remember this moment.

Fucking Hammond family.

That's my story. I'm sure all of you readers have a story to share with us. Please, comment and share! These events interest me!

Oh, also, I CAN'T FIND A PICTURE OF THE T-SHIRT! Noooo!! It's lost forever!! It only exists in my memory!!!

EDIT: I FOUND A PICTURE. That took way too much time, but it was worth it. Too bad it is tiny, but you get the idea:

The best thing ever? Quite possibly.

Behold, the official video for Ben Kweller's "Penny On The Train Track" (no, really).



This video is the marriage of two things we love dearly -- old women and Ben Kweller. Also, this woman's name is Marylin "Bubbie" Kweller, Ben's grandmother. I laughed so hard I cried. So amazing.